SKU: 2145297309

Damage Control: A Memoir of Outlandish Privilege, Loss and Redemption

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Damage Control: A Memoir of Outlandish Privilege, Loss and RedemptionA powerful blazingly honest memoir told with humor and panache about a mother and son finding each other again after years of estrangement. A coming of age story of outrageous excess, glamour, entitlement and grand delusion, lived above the fray and over the top. A gay man's journey through the joys and perils of his generation, coming out in the early eighties in the shadow of a terrifying of disease that would devastate so many, surviving tremendous

A powerful blazingly honest memoir told with humor and panache about a mother and son finding each other again after years of estrangement. A coming-of-age story of outrageous excess, glamour, entitlement and grand delusion, lived above the fray and over the top. A gay man's journey through the joys and perils of his generation, coming out in the early eighties in the shadow of a terrifying of disease that would devastate so many, surviving tremendous loss and culminating in his decision to adopt a child as a single parent.

When Sergei, a psychotherapist who has been living in Paris for the past decade, discovers that his mother is terminally ill, he decides to leave his practice and his life to be by her side, in the hope of healing the bitterness and discord before it is too late. Alternating between a narrative of Dollsie's last months as she battles cancer, interwoven with poignant and hilarious and at times shocking scenes from their outlandishly privileged lives, DAMAGE CONTROL is a story about exile and loss, searching and escape. From the mountain villages of Gstaad, Switzerland, to New York and Miami and Cuba, the narrator revisits the chateaux and chalets of his childhood, exploring the emotional and geographical landscapes of a mother and son whose lives are revealed to be poignant parallels of each other. After avoiding his mother for a lifetime, seeking shelter from her destructiveness and her drinking and her rage, Sergei comes face-to-face with this narcissistic woman confronting mortality for the first time, and through his own experiences as an activist and a therapist and a man who has faced his own mortality at young age, he helps her to come to terms with all her guilt and regrets and fear of dying.

This memoir offers a fascinating and disturbing portrayal of a glamorous woman whose life has been one of great elegance and luxury, along with disillusionment, grandiosity, seduction and self-destruction: her childhood in pre-Castro Cuba, a mythical island paradise; her marriage at the age of eighteen to a dashing young Swiss man and their subsequent exile; her frantic and desperate resolve to create a mythical life of her own and pass on the traditions of aristocracy to her children, all the while leading a double life and suffering feelings of intense longing and frustration and guilt which eventually cause her to destroy and walk away from everything that she has been raised to want and expect out of life.

DAMAGE CONTROL is ultimately a rendering of the cycle of life, saying goodbye to a parent so you can say hello to a child, and finding grace and redemption through a mother's love.


Binding Type: Paperback
Publisher: Carol Mann Agency
Published: 04/08/2014
ISBN: 9780786755844
Pages: 296
Weight: 0.88lbs
Size: 8.90h x 5.90w x 0.80d
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SKU: 2145297309

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Scot Loyd
Dallas, US
★★★★★ 5
So helpful
Format: Hardcover
This is a book that will help you think through the misappropriating of religion in most every aspect of life. I have learned so much from this work and believe that you will as well. Written in an engaging, easy to read style, this work is accessible by anyone who is looking to be more intentional in their understanding of others, their beliefs, culture and religion. This kind of information make navigating the world a safer journey for all of us.
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Reviewed in the United States on September 25, 2023
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User1
Chelsea, US
★★★★★ 5
Thoughtful and honest
Format: Kindle
I am so glad I read this! I've heard the term "cultural appropriation" many more times than I can count, but I hadn't thought about it in the context of religion. Bucar's writing is so engaging, and the book is a great blend of narrative non-fiction and theory. I couldn't put it down! Highly recommend.
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Reviewed in the United States on September 29, 2022
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DLRinehart
Bozeman, US
★★★★★ 5
An important and interesting read; well written and researched
Format: Hardcover
The author uses personal experiences to illustrate and enliven the text. Ms. Bucar challenges us to look at our own reactions, thoughts and practices. I would recommend this book for discussion at my book club.
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Reviewed in the United States on October 1, 2022
M
Madrugada Mistral
Louisville, US
★★★★★ 1
Not what I was hoping for
Format: Paperback
I've been interested in the topic of religious appropriation ever since I saw my non-Tibetan neighbor hang Tibetan prayer flags on his front porch. And when I lived in Japan, I saw that non-Christian Japanese appropriated all of the trappings of Western Christian wedding ceremonies. So I had high hopes for this book. But it reads like a very looooong, and also very academic sermon on the evils of capitalism, western hegemony, and other such terms. There is not an ounce of humor in any of this book.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 25, 2026
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Benjamin Herzog
Belleville, US
★★★★★ 5
Fascinating and well written
Format: Hardcover
This is one of those books that makes you re-see everyday things with new awareness and a more critical eye. Well-researched, organized and written. Highly recommend!
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Reviewed in the United States on October 3, 2022

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